“You shall separate three cities for yourself in the midst of your land which the LORD your God is giving you to possess. You shall prepare roads for yourself, and divide into three parts the territory of your land which the LORD your God is giving you to inherit, that any manslayer may flee there.”
—Deuteronomy 19:2-3 NKJV

That caregiving season was so unbelievably hard. It wasn’t just the physical, though that was exhausting, it was the emotional and mental wear and fatigue that was—let’s just name it—stressful to the max, with one foot over the burnout line and the other close behind. Did I mention feeling like I was losing my mind? My life in that season wasn’t taking it from one day to the next or even one hour to the next. It often felt like I was surviving from one breath to the next.

I was raised old school, “Yes ma’am, no sir,” and that carried on well into adult life. Now, the roles were reversed. I was the one having to take on more of a parental role as Mama and Daddy both disappeared deeper into the fog of their respective illnesses—Daddy into the indignities of cancer and the paranoia that can accompany it, Mama into the isolation and terror of dementia. Both were hanging on to any little bit of control they could grab on to with everything they had.

In that season, God gave me places of refuge. He gave me a secret “just me” spot in my woods where I could cry, scream, and openly grieve unobserved—well, except for the poor squirrels. God gave me the love and support of a husband who was always there with kindness and hugs. He gave me kids whose help was incalculable. I was blessed beyond words with the support and strength of older, dear godly friends. I clung closely to their wise counsel, tightly and often, and whose phones I rang into the ground.

All these were places of refuge and safety for me, but I have one special place that will forever be front and center as I remember back over those yesterdays. It’s a little corner of our den. I’d find a reason, any reason, to rush home, grab my Bible, and throw myself into the rocking chair and into Christ’s arms. I buried myself in the Psalms, and ironically, every single time I opened God’s Love Letter, it never failed to deal with the exact emotion and thought train I was wrestling with at that particular moment. That little corner with Jesus became my “City of Refuge.”

In the Old Testament, Cities of Refuge were areas God had commanded the Israelites to set aside as places where individuals could find shelter and protection if they had caused an unintentional death. These cities did not remove the trouble, but they gave a place of safety in the midst of it.

Three were set up within the Promised Land, and three others were later established outside their borders so that wherever a person was, safety was within reach. Their accessibility was open to anyone who would legitimately seek refuge, Israelite and Gentile alike. The roads leading to these cities were to be well-maintained, with nothing to hinder the way to safety. They were to be clearly marked with signs so that none would be lost. The elders of these cities were to conduct a fair and impartial trial and then declare the seeker either a murderer and hand him over to the avenger or declare the crime to be manslaughter. Manslayers were to remain in that city as long as the High Priest of that time was alive. When he died, they were set free. While they were sheltering in the city, the townspeople were to provide them with housing and trade training so that these people could support themselves and their families.

Christ is our City of Refuge. He is our Way, who turns no one away who comes to Him. Our Defender, the one who examines and declares us righteous in Him. Our High Priest, who died on the cross to set us free but lives eternally, ever making intercession for us so that we can be forever free. Our Giver of good gifts, who provides a way for us to live out our faith journey, serving and bearing fruit for Him.

Look at the names of the Refuge Cities and the meanings of their names:

West of the Jordan:
Kedesh – Holy, sanctified, sacred place
Shechem – Shoulder
Hebron – Fellowship, friendship, communion

East of the Jordan:
Bezer – Fortress, stronghold
Ramoth-Gilead – Exalted heights
Golan – Separated, precious, exiled

Oh, Father, how these words describe our refuge, what we have, and who we are in Christ. Like the cities of old and like my own seasons of caregiving, You do not necessarily remove the difficulties, hardships, trials, persecutions, or losses, but You forever provide a place of safety under Your wing.

For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”
—Romans 10:13 NKJV

I love you, Lord,
Donna Perkins

After many years of blessing us with her words and godly insight, Donna
will be stepping down as a regular contributor to Musings. Thank you,
Donna, for your amazing storytelling wrapped up in convicting truths.

Sweet Selah Ministries

Vision
To inspire a movement away from the belief that “busy is better”
and toward the truth of God’s Word that stillness and knowing
Him matter most—and will be reflected in more effective work and service

Mission
To offer biblical resources and retreats that help women pause (Selah)
and love God more deeply as they know Him more intimately (Sweet)

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