“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
—Romans 12:9-10 NLT (emphasis mine)

Loving people isn’t always easy. Have you noticed that? We can be pleasant and enjoy others in small doses without too much trouble, but we often prefer to keep them in a group so we don’t have to spend actual time alone with them. It’s when we spend time with a person one-on-one that troubles can begin. Actions and time investments are required of us. We are naturally self-centered, and diving into really knowing someone is time-intensive and messy. Too often, we’d rather keep our distance.

And yet, investing in others is what Christians are called to do. Over and over in the Bible, God calls us to a radical kind of love. It’s costly. It’s sacrificial. It’s hard.

And it is so worth it.

I’ve been pondering these two verses from Paul’s letter to the Romans: “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Paul seems to know that genuine affection can be hard to find. It’s often easier to “pretend” to love by being kind briefly in a group setting than it is to really love and connect with someone on a deeper, more intimate level. Paul goes further. He urges us to “take delight in honoring” others. We’re called to do the messy work of truly loving. Here are three practical ways to love others that I have found helpful:

Actively listen to their stories.

When we love someone, we listen to them. We don’t listen to respond. We don’t look at our watches when the stories get long. We listen to learn—to hear what excites them and what has hurt them. This one is hard for me because I love to tell my own stories. However, when I stop and truly listen, I understand the other person much better and can relate to them with greater kindness and understanding.

Be truthful with them.

Loving someone does not mean agreeing with them about everything. If love is genuine, we need to be honest when we see things differently. We speak truth with kindness, we make sure we have heard the other, and we remind our friend that we want to be genuine with them. No pretense.

Choose to honor them.

When we love someone, we want them to succeed. We don’t need to compete or try to “top” them in their achievements. We delight in them and celebrate their successes. Because we love them and are for them, we’re happy when life goes well for them.

Heavenly Father, help me when I want to hide in a group setting and not get personally involved with someone in need. Show me which people need that tender touch of genuine love that Paul urges us to practice. Help me to love like You do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

You are loved,
Sharon

Sweet Selah Ministries

Vision
To inspire a movement away from the belief that “busy is better”
and toward the truth of God’s Word that stillness and knowing
Him matter most—and will be reflected in more effective work and service

Mission
To offer biblical resources and retreats that help women pause (Selah)
and love God more deeply as they know Him more intimately (Sweet)

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