Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. —Ephesians 5:2 NLT

If you’ve been around any group of people for more than a few weeks, you know, without my telling you, that some are harder to love than others. Sadly, this applies in church settings as well as in neighborhoods and workplaces. A good church welcomes all people. The easy ones to love and the downright ornery ones. The ones who are blunt, awkward, and unreliable. The ones who hurt our feelings, ignore our needs, and seem to be nothing but a bundle of needs themselves. Those ones. And yes, we are called to love them. Sometimes this takes more work than loving unbelievers. In church, we expect more from people. Paul wrote quite a great deal on this subject in his letter to the Colossians. As I re-read it recently, I was struck again by the simple, practical wisdom he shared. So I’ve unpacked Paul’s words from Colossians 3, where I found seven ways to do the work of loving others at church.

1. Knowing God well is the best way to become like Him in loving others. “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him”  (vs. 10). It always starts with God Himself. We’re to “learn to know our Creator.” To become the kind of person everyone truly wants around, we need to learn to be more like God in the way we treat others. This happens when we spend time with Him, reading His Word, praying, and even admiring His creation. Let’s not neglect “learning to know” our wonderful God.

2. Being kind and loving is not optional. “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience”  (vs. 12). Paul reminds the Colossian church that they “must” be full of mercy, tenderness, kindness, etc. This is not a suggestion. Paul doesn’t add an aside saying this doesn’t apply to difficult people. Choosing kindness and humility takes work, especially when someone has hurt our feelings. Forgiving even small slights is not effortless. We need to choose it with God’s help. But when we remember this isn’t optional, we work harder in prayer and thought to do what God says we must.

3. Expect church friends to have faults. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others”  (vs. 13). Sometimes our expectations of fellow Christians are too high. We forget they’re sinners, saved by grace, just as we are. Let’s “expect” people to let us down and give them grace when they do. Letting go of bitterness and disdain, rather than wallowing in them, is God’s way. When we “make allowance” for faults, we don’t redefine them as “okay.” Not at all. We simply accept that our friends sin, and we forgive them, just as we sin and hope to be forgiven.

4. Choose love and peace each day. “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace”  (vs. 14-15a). Just as we wear clothing every day, we ought to ask God’s help to clothe our spiritual selves with love, harmony, and peace, seeking to bring joy to others, not sorrow. What binds us together as Christians? Criticism? Nope. Love. God’s and ours. Let’s strengthen that bond by loving well and working for peace whenever possible.

5. Invest in spiritual rhythms. “Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts”  (vs. 16). Let’s choose wisely how we spend time. Are we reading books that remind us of Christ’s richness? Are we listening to sermons, songs, and podcasts that point us to the Lord and His Word? Paul reminds us that the message about Christ is rich. We could spend a lifetime studying and learning about Him and never run out of wonder and discoveries.

6. Remember that you represent Christ. “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus”  (vs. 17a). Will we represent Christ perfectly? Of course not. But we can please Him by speaking of Him with respect, by humbly and honestly apologizing when we’re wrong, and by sharing about Him as opportunities allow. Let’s discipline our speech so that coarse language and ugly words become increasingly rare, and words that uplift and help others abound.

7. Maintain a grateful heart. “ … always be thankful”  (vs. 15b). “ … Sing … with thankful hearts”  (vs. 16b). “… giving thanks through him to God the Father”  (vs. 17b). Last but certainly not least, since Paul mentions it three times in this short exhortation, we are to maintain grateful hearts. What an interesting word. “Maintain” implies ongoing work. Something that would break down if we don’t keep it in good shape. Like a car that needs oil changes, we need to keep oiling our hearts with grateful thoughts. We’re to be on the lookout for reasons to be thankful. They are there. We often overlook obvious blessings and consider them rights. Not everyone has a place to call home. Not everyone can walk or see or hear. All of these things we can so easily take for granted are gifts from our good God, and we are to thank Him. How does this help us do the work of loving others? It turns us away from a critical spirit and toward a humbled heart of gratitude for all our blessings.

Heavenly Father, thank You for this clear and beautiful advice from Paul about doing the work of loving others. Oh, how we need Your help to see people as You do—in need of You—and with the potential to become all You created them to be! Help us love others daily as You love us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

You are loved,
Sharon

Sweet Selah Ministries

Vision
To inspire a movement away from the belief that “busy is better”
and toward the truth of God’s Word that stillness and knowing
Him matter most—and will be reflected in more effective work and service

Mission
To offer biblical resources and retreats that help women pause (Selah)
and love God more deeply as they know Him more intimately (Sweet)

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